Grounded
by Angel Leviathan
Summary: Habits are there to be made. And broken. But the latter isn’t as fun.


**Title:** Grounded

**Author:** Angel Leviathan

**Spoilers:** Anything, everything. Intruder.

**Rating:** PG-13 (language)

**Season:** 2

**Disclaimer:** Stargate Atlantis, characters, concept, etc, aren't mine.

**Notes:** 'Shed' is a card game I'm now convinced my mates and I just made up. Fic is set before the first Weir/Sheppard scene in Intruder, maybe a few days, sometime during the weeks they've been travelling back to Earth.

* * *

"This is becoming a habit." 

"Habits are there to be made. And broken. But the latter isn't as fun," John sat down opposite his companion, taking a sip from the cup of coffee he'd grabbed on the way to her table. He grinned, eyes resting on the pack of cards beside her, "Already prepared for me to kick your ass again?" he taunted.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, "You didn't win a single game last night. Morning. This morning. Whatever time it was," she shook her head.

"Think it was three before either of us saw our bed," he caught the look on her face and hurriedly directed his gaze toward the surface of the table, "Beds," he corrected.

She smiled, amused that he was almost blushing, and slid the cards across the table to him, "Deal."

John picked up the pack, "You shuffled them?"

"I am that efficient," she slouched in her chair, grinning at him.

"Be glad I don't take you for a liar. Just an incredibly bad winner," he started to deal seven cards each, face down.

"Hey," Elizabeth sat up, "This from shall-I-remind-you-once-again-I-got-promoted-Luitennant-Colonel-Sheppard."

"Ah, you remember," he started to deal another seven, face up.

"As if anyone in either galaxy could forget. I knew you kept addressing me as 'Doctor' all day just to get me to repeat your rank every five minutes," she frowned at the cards before her, "How come every time you deal, I end up with a bad hand?" she swiped the third set of seven off the table and glanced at them.

"You shuffled. That was the deal," he reminded her, picking up his own cards, "I deal, you shuffle, fair, right?"

"And still I get a bad set…"

"And still you keep winning…"

Elizabeth replaced two numbered cards with an ace and a king, an unimpressed mock glare directed in his direction, "We'll see…" she grimaced, "Do I really have to say that awful line when I win?"

"If you win. And yes," he grinned, "You do. Its part of the joy of Shed. The taunting."

"You made this game up, I swear," she placed two threes down on the table, taking more cards from the pile.

"Nope," John smiled, "Wish I did. Caused some fights during lulls at the base. Especially when drunk on smuggled alcohol and with too many people playing."

"I dread to think…"

"Can you see it? The guy who's already been pissing you off all day wins, grins, and starts with the 'I shit on you and you and you and you and you and you…'" he shook his head, "Its why you never tell anyone what Shed's short for until they're hooked," he stared at the pile of cards, kicked out at her under the table, and reluctantly picked them up, staring when she threw another three down at him, "You could've done that before!"

"Where would be the fun in not making you pick up all those lovely cards?" Elizabeth mimicked his smirk and laughed as he tried to sort the many cards in his hands.

"You're secretly a sadist, aren't you?"

"Of course."

"I knew it."

They played in silence for a few minutes, until they got down to the cards laid out on the table. John pretended to be in deep thought about his next move, "…You're still thinking about him, aren't you?" he said quietly.

She looked up, momentarily, and then also feigned deep thought concerning the cards before her, "…Not really…" she replied, voice soft, but her answer was honest and she couldn't think of a way to continue. The weeks of late nights and early mornings spent together, sometimes laughing, sometimes on the verge of tears, had brought them a lot closer, meant they knew a lot more about each other…including some things they would rather not have known. She knew he had had to witness his best friend from childhood go off the rails in early adulthood, despite his attempts to pull him back, one of the reasons he so desperately wanted to get Aiden back and back to normal. She knew why he disobeyed those orders and exactly why there were those black marks on his record, and why he was likely to disobey orders, hers, in the future. They said he didn't respect the chain of command, she knew better. Despite how it often appeared, he thought with his heart too often and not his head, something she could relate to all too well. She knew how he didn't get on with his father, but adored his little sister, and just how he'd learnt to use sarcasm as the only defence mechanism he could deploy in an instant.

And he knew about Simon. How they met and how they lived together for years, but never spoke of marriage or children, how they lived together and yet entirely alone. Somehow just safety so they didn't have to face the real world. How she thought she had loved him, never quite sure, but sure enough to not see how he had moved on and still be confused by his apparent betrayal. That she blamed herself, didn't think of it as betrayal, and if she did, she knew she had taken the final step, and that step had been through the Stargate. Then there were the little things like just how intimidated she actually felt by the new military presence and how that in itself meant she wouldn't back down, even if it meant fighting him. That she started learning French and German at the age of six, but has the tendency of starting a sentence in one and finishing it in the other. And that she once stormed out of an eight hour negotiation, having finally lost her temper.

"…It just…hurts, you know?" Elizabeth shook her head when he countered her move, making her pick up the pile of cards again, "…I…don't…didn't…even particularly want him to go with me…I just had to ask, do the right thing, make sure I wasn't at fault this time…really hit it home and…well, if he had come along with us then…"

"Then we wouldn't be sitting here like this," John replied, monotone, still staring at the cards.

"I don't know what I would've done if he had said yes actually…" she sighed.

"But it still hurts," he nodded.

"It makes no sense. I don't want him back. Maybe I just feel stupid. Or possessive. I don't know," she started the card sequence again with a nine, "You know, I have nowhere to live now? On Earth, I mean. Its his house now. I cleared out as much of my stuff as I could, its in storage. No house, no car, not anymore…no…nothing really…" she trailed off, stunned into silence, having said her thoughts aloud.

John looked up at her, "Looks like Atlantis really is home."

She nodded, slowly, "…I think it was even before I lost my other one."

"Earth doesn't seem right," he agreed, "Too solid. Too sturdy. Too…spacious."

"And not enough ocean," Elizabeth tried a smile.

"Definitely not enough ocean," he stretched, "Well, if you need more room, feel free to share my closet space."

She laughed quietly, "Thank you. I might take you up on that offer," she blinked as he turned over his last card, winning the game, "Looks like tonight is your night," Elizabeth folded her arms and leant forward against the table, "Going to say it?"

John leant back, staring at her, before he grimaced and chickened out, "Nah. Can't do it."

"And after you made me every time!"

"I'm just too nice," he smiled, leaning forward.

Elizabeth returned the smile, "…Yes, you are. To me, you are," she said softly.

"Easy when it's the person keeping you grounded," the smile faded to a contemplative expression, "and keeping you home."

She sighed and lowered her head so their foreheads touched, "…Its not pain…its guilt…" she suddenly admitted, "…Its guilt. Because he didn't have my heart anymore…"

John stood up, catching her hand on the way round the table, "…Feel like going for a walk?"

"I'd like that."

**Fin**


End file.
